SANCTUM EROS
Sanctum Eros / Education

Know Your Kink

Build a private map of what interests you, what depends on context, what belongs in fantasy, and what is simply not for you. Then use that map to have better conversations with another person.

Local only — your saved map stays in this browser104 interests across 11 familiesNo compatibility score — compare the actual answers

Separate the things people usually mash together.

An activity can sound hot and still be a no today. Something can live entirely in fantasy. You can want to give an experience without wanting to receive it, or vice versa. This tool keeps those distinctions visible.

1MapRate the interest itself.
2ContextAdd direction, conditions, and notes.
3CompareSee overlap and real mismatches.
4ExploreTurn curiosity into questions and research.
Useful distinction: “I like this idea” and “I want to do this with you, here, today” are different questions. The interest map answers the first one.

My Profile

Keep the recurring context you get tired of re-explaining. Everything here is optional.

Interest Map

Rate the idea, not whether you have the skill, partner, equipment, or circumstances to do it right now.

YesCuriousMaybe / dependsFantasy onlyNot for meHard limit
Your interest summary will appear here.

Compare Two People

Each person answers for themselves. The useful result is where the answers line up, where they depend on context, and where they clearly do not.

Your comparison will appear here.

Explore Queue

Curiosity does not need to become a scene. Decide what deserves more information, a conversation, a workshop, or simply a place in fantasy.

Choose next steps and build a queue summary.

Sources & design notes

The vocabulary is community language, not a closed taxonomy. The tool is designed around explicit consent, independent answers, and separating interest from real-world permission.

Consent & negotiation

CommunityNCSF — Best Practices for Consent to Kink

Explicit prior permission, specificity, informed consent, and negotiation practice.

ResearchConsent Norms in the BDSM Community

Consent communication is strongly valued while the depth of negotiation varies with relationship context.

ResearchIdentifying the Impact of Sexual Scripts on Consent Negotiations

Supports explicit communication rather than relying on conventional sexual scripts and assumptions.

Sexual health & relationship diversity

Public healthCDC — How to Prevent STIs

Testing, vaccination, barriers, and prevention planning.

ResearchWhat do we know about consensual non-monogamy?

Review of CNM prevalence, relationship quality, diversity, and stigma.

VocabularyBDSMTest.org — BDSM role information

A widely recognized example of community role vocabulary; Know Your Kink focuses on interests rather than duplicating the Kink Roles assessment.

Higher-risk interests stay in the map because people need accurate language for their interests. The map does not teach technique. Use the Library and competent hands-on instruction before technically demanding practices.